Thursday, April 5, 2012

A year free of struggles & sorrows ....

.... for Gloria

Dearest Gloria,
When we came to GSF four years ago I honestly didn’t know how to respond to you.  At first I didn’t really even want anything to do with you.  I don’t remember when that changed, but now I am so glad it did.  There were so many times when I would go see you in the hospital and thought you wouldn’t make it out.  You did sweet girl, you made it out of the hospital every. Single. Time.  God had a bigger plan for you … A much bigger plan for you.  I am forever grateful that I got to sit and watch that big plan for you unfold.  Many people would think you wouldn’t have even made it to GSF.  Many little girls and boys in your village just like you ‘accidently die’ as little babies.  Gloria, that wasn’t God’s plan for you.  He made it nearly impossible for that to happen to you, sweet girl.  He brought you to GSF where you would be safe and loved.  Maybe part of His beautiful plan for your life was to come and change my heart.  Because, you and the other special needs kids at GSF did.  My heart for special needs kids has grown beyond what I could have ever imagined.
Gloria, a year and almost a month ago I heard something I always knew was coming, but wasn’t prepared to hear.  Auntie Justine told me ‘Gloria, she … she … dies.’  I put on my shoes as fast as I could knowing my mom was already there.  Looking back now I would think I would have walked quickly.  No, I didn’t I walked slowly along.  Solome was walking that way but I didn’t tell her, ask her, or cry then.  I didn’t want to believe it, sweet girl.  I always knew that would happen but I didn’t think it would be right then.  You had seemed perfectly fine.  My mom found Solome and I coming and told us ‘she’s with Jesus.’  I immediately knew it was you but Solome didn’t know.  I didn’t cry then either.  I think I was in too much shock.  I remember as Nurse Sarah told Auntie Marjorine, ‘remember how Gloria always used to try to dance when we turned on music?  Now she’s really dancing.’
 I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn’t cry right then.  Later that day I sat in the pavilion crying with the girls in your house.  You probably think that’s the craziest thing you’ve ever heard because you’re having a great time now!  No, we weren’t crying because we were sad for you, we were crying because we missed you, because we loved you and we still do and I was crying because I was wishing I had spent more time with you.  Sweet Gloria, to us here on earth the one year you have been gone seems like such a long time, but I know that to you it seems like you have only been gone for a little while.
I remember that one time I came to see you in the hospital.  You had a big old nasty wound and it was filled with ants.  We asked the nurse to clean and put a new bandage on it but she said all the sterile bandages were locked in a room and the ‘man with the key’ was gone.  You would have to wait till tomorrow.  I know that was only one of your many struggles and you have probably had much worse troubles than ants in a disgusting wound.
Gloria, there are many times when I sit with Rosie and want to do that more because I feel like I didn’t sit with you enough and I regret that now.  I can’t wait to one day have a huge dance party with you, Emma, Norah and all the others with Jesus.  I have found myself singing ‘I can only imagine’ a lot these days.  I would like to think that I will sing and dance for Jesus and then come and find you, Norah and Emma. Anyways, there are countless times we think about you, sweet girl … countless.  Even now as I am writing this tears are welling up in my eyes.  I miss you so much sweet girl.  You don't even know how much we miss you.
We miss you so much this side of heaven and still love you more than you can imagine (but not as much as Jesus loves you:)).
All my love,                                                                                                                                        
To all those reading this: I know that Gloria can’t read this, but I like expressing my thoughts in this way as if I’m really writing to those I am telling you about.  For those of you who weren’t around here last year Gloria had cerebral palsy.  In fact, the very first blog post I wrote was about Gloria.  Here are the two posts I wrote about her:
And here are post’s about Gloria’s passing from others:
Moving up in life and death – Nurse Meredith
Unusual Things – Nurse Sarah


  1. Caralina,
    This is so very lovely and beautifully written. I like that way of remembering a treasured friend. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Grandma,
      Thank you so much. I really just wrote from my heart.

  2. Caralina,
    That is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart and your friend with us.
    Aunt Renae

  3. Caralina,

    I watch you in photos on you mom's facebook account and see the beautiful things God is growing in you. What a treasure you are, I am certain, to all who know you and certainly to those of us who know you from afar. I see the treasures you are storing up in heaven, on the dusty roads of Africa, in the villages on the other side of the world and my heart wells up. I know you touched Gloria's life just like she touched yours and that is how it should be, a bit of God's Kingdom brought to earth. I love to see the gift God has given you to craft words that reach deep. Thank you for allowing God to touch my heart through you. Michelle Serna